The Department of National Scaremongering…

is at it again. Do they think we have forgotten the Eighties and the IRA bombing campaign in London. Is there truly an increased risk since last week, or is this Sir Mandarin Jobsworth doing what he does best – justifying not just his own existence but also his own large budget?

I cannot see the point of spreading the fear and ignorance like this. On the other hand, I suppose we can’t expect the government to retain events that didn’t happen within living memory, which in terms of the UK public, means about sisxty months.

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Health and Safety with a bit of common sense..

A bit of surfing recently steered me in the direction of the UK Health and Safety website. Far from existing in some remote ivory tower, the Health and Safety Executive actually has a sense of humour and maintains on its website a list of current Health and Safety myths. I was rather delighted to discover that the ‘Safety Elves’ do really aim to be simple and straightforward rather than just silly, which is the image the popular press tries to convey of them.

Cath Janes, writing in the Guardian has a good piece on the subject of Health and Safety, reminding us that it really is about simple common sense and forethought rather than compliance with arcane rules.

Here is another link, to a small safety company in Norfolk that appears to adopt a similar philsophy.

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Banks don’t know what toxic assets are worth

I was just listening to a report about the latest attempts by governments to relieve banks of their “toxic” assets.  The problem is, apparently, that banks are reluctant to sell because they are unable to value these assets.  Old new, perhaps, since that ignorance was part of the cause of the problem.  The trouble is now that the banks have a sneaking feeling that they may be selling too cheap and losing out.  These people just can’t get it right, can they?

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Let’s NOT do ’scrappage’

I heard Caroline Lucas (Green Party MEP) speaking on Radio 4 the other day and was pleased to hear her speaking against car ’scrappage’ – a proposed deal whereby consumers are subsidised to scrap old, non-green cars. I don’t often agree with here – I consider her more a religious leader than a politician – but she doesn’t always get it wrong.

My own vested interest here is my large estate car, which would be anathema to the average green, but which I drive fully loaded surprisingly often. The idea that a vehicle with another 100,000 miles possible life in it being scrapped in favour of the creation of a vehicle that might be new and more economical is fine. Trouble is, if you think it through, you might conclude that the energy required to create this new car, even up to the point I start using it, is rather greater than that required to fuel the current one for the rest of its life.

Also, if we scrap the current one, we immediately introduce a further energy bill for the scrapping process, none of which contributes to getting me from A to B when required. When the current vehicle can no longer be economically repaired, then it will be time to scrap it, but for now, all the additional carbon cost associated with the vehicle goes to moving it.

The lesson here, children, is – be aware of the difference between capital costs and running costs. These apply to carbon usage as much as to financial accounting.

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Where does the talent go? Let’s hope it’s to ruin someone else’s economy!

So the former masters of the universe are beginning to hurt a tiny bit. The FInancial Times reported yesterday that yet again, Wall Street is worried that too much regulation will drive its talent abroad. What response can the rest of us offer other than ‘Bring it on!’? These are the people whose ‘talent’ created a giant bubble of illusory wealth which they then sold to the rest of the world.

So just who is going to offer them a job now? I wouldn’t trust any of them to sweep a road properly. There was a similar case of a new graduate looking for his first job and ‘threatening’ to go to Dubai if no one in London would recognize his amazing worth. There is a desperate need for a large and fierce injection of reality here, preferably with a blunt needle.

These people are little different from con-artists. They are really good at part of what they do, but it is going to take a generation before they are trusted again to the extent that we all let them get away with over the last twenty years. Still, we must remember that ‘within living memory’ these days is about five years, tops.

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Retailers in denial

Lots of retailers going bust in the UK. I’m not sure if this is a tragedy or not. We lost our Woolworths about twenty years ago, and it wasn’t that much missed. A lot of the names that are going under leave me completely unmoved since in many cases there is no local shop and in quite a few cases, I haven’t even heard of the chain (”Passion for Perfume”).

Today, perhaps coincidentally, I heard someone on Radio 4 suggesting that maybe the UK has too many shops.

So much for brands!

And if I am asked once again whether a “brand” is the sort of thing I identify with, I shall decend to a very crude level of language indeed.

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Customer Service – five things to hate

Somewhere, there is clearly a customer service academy used by all large organisations where people have to deal with customers.  This academy is introducing a number of really horrible habits.

Number 1

I think the one I hate most is the closing line.  Just when you have managed to survive to the front of the queue, have finally been dealt with, and with a sigh of relief you are about to escape to something more congenial, you are asked “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

I have various responses to this question, but the readiest is “Well you haven’t helped me with anything yet, so how can you help me with anything else?”, but this morning, I did manage “That question always makes me really angry.”

Number 2

My second is the way people give you change with the notes first and the coins on top.  For me this is the wrong way round.  I prefer to grab the notes (the high-value items) and stow them safely before worrying about the coins.

Number 3

Shop assistants who chat on their mobile phone while ’serving’ you.  Very rude.  KILL!!

Number 4

Notices that start “For your comfort and convenience, please…”  That is invariably a warning that what follows will do anything but add to your comfort and convenience.

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The right approach

Three cheers for Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany, when she responded recently to a Green initiative to introduce blanket speed limits on German autobahns. ‘It won’t happen with me’, she is reported as saying.  She went on to point out that traffic jams and congestion are many times greater contributors to pollution and greenhouse gases than driving fast.

One of the great Green arguments against private car use, and in particular against large-engined cars, is the heavy fuel consumption arising from driving fast.  All too few people will actually argue that the most economical small diesel car in a traffic jam is doing ZERO mpg.  This is one area where the over-hyped Toyota Prius has a genuine advantage, but other manufacturers are catching up, with the Volkswagen BlueMotion and Mini range coming with an automatic start/stop system which turns the engine on and off in start/stop driving.  That Mini next to you in the traffic jam may actually be doing zero mpg!

Anyway, to return to my original point, I find it reassuring to hear of a politician that has a more panoramic view of the problem than most.

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Does my carbon footprint look big in this?

I’ve just been enjoying an article on bbc.co.uk about a long-distance bus service from UK to Australia, run by a company called Ozbus. You can find the article here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6996233.stm.  It sounds a fascinating trip, and makes me wish I was already retired and could try it, but rather spoils the story at the end with a last-minute attempt to pay lipservice to greenery.  There is, apparently, only one brief flight involved.  That may be good, but the bus is going to create a whole lot of CO2 in its 15,000 mile journey. 

So why is the bus element of the CO2 generated totally ignored, while the effect of a brief flight picked upon?  There are other factors affecting the volume of CO2 generated by the trip.  I suppose the bus is in good mechanical order, but that sounds to me like the comsumption of at least 2,500 gallons of diesel.  I don’t know what the plane trip will take – it depends on the aircraft type, its engines, how high and fast it flies, and so on.

Can anyone tell me what the per-capita fuel cost is on a non-stop flight from Heathrow to Australia?

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Green taxes

I am pleased to hear a few politicians accepting that when they mention Green taxes, we, the electorate, only hear the “taxes” bit.  Sadly, the government has a bad record in this area.  Motorists are already taxed far beyond the amount that is poured back into transport – most recent figures I have seen suggest an annual contribution to the Exchequer by motorists of over £30 billion.  Even with all that, they are failing to make public transport more attractive than car owning, simply because public transport in the UK is poor and expensive, and suitable only for those with a lot of time on their hands.

Here I write as a recent convert to motorcycling, having abandoned public transport as either too expensive or too slow.

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